The Heart of God

My Dear Friends,

I was eating breakfast Sunday morning and listening to Klove radio. The news came on and the announcer said that particular Sunday had been set aside as a day of prayer for the persecuted church around the world.

He mentioned the Middle East as well as the Far East. He stated that Anti-Christian and Anti-Jewish propaganda was coming out of Islamic countries. He also said that pastors and church leaders in China were being imprisoned for their faith. I listened and thought, "Well, God will take care of them." I had an attitude of "So? What else is new?"

The radio went back to music and I finished my breakfast. About that time one of my favorite songs came on - "He Reigns" by the Newsboys. I stood in the kitchen with my eyes closed and my hands raised. As I swayed to the music, I began to cry.

Now crying while I worship is not unusual for me. But what happened next was. As I got my hanky out of my purse, I heard the Lord say "Get on your knees." I hesitated, so he repeated himself. "Get on your knees."

So with the help of a kitchen chair (I’m really out of shape) I went down on my knees. My crying turned to sobbing. All this time the Newsboys are still playing.

Then I heard the Lord say, "Lie prostrate." And, yes, he had to repeat himself. "Lie prostrate." As I obeyed, my sobbing increased. I felt my heart was breaking. I had no idea what was happening.

As the song ended, I heard the Lord say, "you can get up now." So I leaned up on my elbows, blew my nose and wiped my eyes. I stayed on the floor for a few minutes thinking about what had just happened.

I also felt a prompting, so I began praying for the persecuted church. For strength, courage, hope and joy. When I finished praying I got up and dusted myself off. I went to brush my teeth and finish getting ready for work.

While I was putting on my makeup I was still thinking about what had just happened. So I asked the Lord, "What was that about?"

Soon after the thought came to me, "Thats how I feel. Thats how much it hurts me that my church is persecuted. Thats how much I love them." (I also felt a gentle rebuke for my "so what" attitude.)

It was an amazing revelation to me. All my life, I’d lived with a God without emotions. A God who didn’t understand me or how I felt. A God who was more concerned with my behavior than with me.

The idea of God lying prostrate sobbing because his children are suffering is completely new to me. Its not that God is powerless to stop their suffering. But they are his precious children. They are hurting and that hurts him.

I am still coming to terms with this new reality. So it may be a while before I can fully grasp the concept that if God weeps when his children suffer, then he weeps for me when I suffer. I’m not sure how to react to that. As I said, this is new so it may take some time to process.

Thanks for listening,

Sarah